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"What is split off,
not felt, remains the same. When it is felt, it changes. Most people
don’t know this! They think that by not permitting the feeling of their
negative ways they make themselves good. On the contrary, that keeps
these negatives static, the same from year to year. A few moments of
feeling it in your body allows it to change. If there is in you
something bad or sick or unsound, let it inwardly be and breathe. That’s
the only way it can evolve and change into the form it needs."
–Eugene Gendlin, author
of Focusing. |
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You may be anxious about what therapy
entails or what you need to do in the sessions. This is entirely
natural; after all, we don’t usually discuss our innermost thoughts and
feelings with a stranger. At its most fundamental, a therapy session is
an intimate conversation or dialogue in a safe, private, confidential
space, with someone who is trained to listen and reflect on what you say
without judgment or expectation.
As your therapist I won’t be ‘diagnosing’ you, neither will I be telling
you what to do, but together we will be able to explore your world in a
way that allows you to find the next step forward. I will engage you in
a conversation about your life and gently challenge you to explore
alternative perspectives. New possibilities and ways forward may emerge
from this. I will help you to understand that you can have choices, and
assist you to reconcile events in your life that you had no control
over.
You will set the agenda for sessions; the discussion will focus on what
concerns are important to you. We may need to reflect upon your
childhood or family background, but not just for the sake of it. We
explore the past as it is presently lived, as it affects you now in your
life, after all, you are more than the events that have happened to you.
Problems in living can be intensely frustrating. It can feel as if you
are on a merry-go-round of repetitive thoughts and feelings that lead
nowhere. If you knew what to do about your problem, you probably would
have done it already. In therapy you will be invited to experiment with
‘not-knowing’, to approach your inner experience without thinking that
you know all about it already. As your therapist I will help you to
foster an attitude of curiosity, openness and interest that frequently
entails staying with unclear, vague or fuzzy senses (an experience that,
incidentally, today’s society doesn’t value, preferring clarity and
speed). You can learn to delight in this unknowing and to value its
unfolding.
First session
The first session will be an opportunity for us to explore the
possibility of working together. You will be able to ask any questions
you may have, and we will talk about your hopes and expectations of the
therapy process. I will also reserve some time to discuss practicalities
such as fees and session times. If, after the assessment session, you
feel that therapy or counselling isn’t for you, or that I am not the
right therapist for you, I can assist you with referral options or to
find alternative sources of help or support.
Feedback
I value and will regularly seek your feedback on the therapy process. We
both need to check that we are heading in the right direction and that
you are getting what you need from your sessions. From time to time I
may suggest that we have a review of our work together.
Confidentiality
Your sessions are confidential. This means that I do not discuss our
work with anyone else, nor will I reveal your personal details or that
you are having therapy with me. However, if I have serious concerns
about your safety or the safety of a third party, it may be necessary to
inform your GP, psychiatrist (if applicable) or someone else. These
situations are extremely rare, and I will always endeavour to inform you beforehand of any action I intend to
take.
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